I Will Pretend to Laugh

You will have your lover,
And I will have my memories

And I will pretend that I have the better
That mine is pristine, without blemish
That it is imperfectly perfect and woven
To the greatest of ideals
That in this you are always beautiful
Always in love, always loved
Without faults, except for those
That endear you even further.
Like tears, and fears.

And I will pretend that he has the worse
That with every kiss, he feels the sour
Of dissatisfaction, the tremble of
Of lonely longing,
That every time he holds you near,
He observes the graying of your hair
And the hand he holds feel feverish
Wrought with worries he cannot comprehend.

And I will pretend that I do not wish
These little inconveniences that appear
Like lines on an old, solid wall
Built by the years of enduring and loving.

And I will pretend to laugh
For you will have your lover
And I will have my memories.